The Hours of Silence

As I write this article, my lips are zipped. Don’t get me wrong, it was a choice, not a compulsion.

I woke up this morning disorientated. The new academic year and new responsibilities had kept me on my toes all week and had wreaked havoc in my head; I was feeling insecure and a lot of self-doubt was flooding through the grey cells. I just wanted to sulk the entire day, which is quite the opposite of my annoyingly happy self. I was sure I could convince everyone that insomnia was the reason behind my grumpiness. The only obstacle I was sure to face was my best friend; she can smell my mood from a distance. I knew she would demand an explanation and I wouldn’t have one because I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was bothering me.

Lo and behold, to my rescue came my Professor! As a part of our class in Social Psychology, she challenged us to violate a social norm and observe peoples’ reactions to it. Many hilarious examples were discussed and she encouraged us to watch seemingly absurd social experiments online. I couldn’t believe my luck; karma works in a dizzyingly rapid rate now! I have a reason to remain quiet, no questions asked. And so began my 12 hours of silence, 9 am to 9 pm.

I had to attend a workshop on statistics and so I had limited interactions with people till noon. As part of the course kit, I got a notepad which I put to good use. I communicated with my classmates using it and boy, were they patient with me (at least for a while)! The most awkward conversation of the day was when my team had a meeting with another Professor. As the leader, I was supposed to pitch in ideas. But there I sat mum, while the girls wondered what on earth had convinced me to shut up!

By a weird turn of events, loads of waste were being burnt in front of our hostel today. Being a slight asthmatic (and a huge attention-seeker), I walked around campus wearing a surgeon’s mask. My best friend, furious at me for obliging to such an experiment, made the most of my situation as she explained comically how Madam has an assignment and she wears the mask as a reminder to keep quiet. The little demon however also was my spokesperson for the day. So here’s a huge hug of love for you!

To my surprise, my mouth started aching from the lack of activity! It also took a really long time for me to pen down my thoughts and make the other person read it and then continue the conversation. Therefore, a lot of my opinions were kept to myself because the thought of the route the ensuing dialogue would take, tired me. I also noticed people around me getting irritated by the pace of the conversation. And this bit of gossip spread like fire that by the end of the day, I had girls come up to me saying, “Ashley Chechi, I heard you’re not going to speak today”. However, the most dramatic effect of the 12-hour silence was that it saddened me!  I felt a lot of emotions building up but there was no way I could vent it out. I could feel the jitters Elsa had in Frozen when she sang, ‘Can’t keep it in, heaven knows I’ve tried!’

Few hours into the experiment, I began doubting if I was actually fulfilling the original intent: was I violating a social norm by not talking? I found my answer soon enough. Explaining that the whole thing was an assignment earned me a lot of are-you-crazy expressions that at one point, I joked that it was actually a vow of silence, a Maun Vrat. People believed that! Wait, what? The truth was met with criticism and a fib was accepted with understanding. I took it a notch further by saying that I’d lost my voice due to a sore throat and they believed that too. Wow! Talking has become such a common social norm that being quiet is considered abnormal. If you want to shut up, you’d better have a sane reason to back it up with!

As I finish writing this, the clock is about to declare my freedom. I admit there were a few slip-ups but I have successfully completed 12 hours of silence. To those who’re reading this believing that I was on a Maun Vrat or had a sore throat, thanks for helping me keep the illusion up. And you little demon, aren’t you happy now?